Pro Porn, and NOT feeling civil...

originally posted 6/24/06

So, well, yes, it has not been a tremendously great day today. I have been tired, cranky, bored, what have you…so, what do I do when I am in an already bad mood? Well, I seek to make it WORSE, to get myself lathered up in a really fine sardonic, sarcastic rage…and I have, of course, succeeded. Let it never be said that I am not an over achiever! And of course, all of this prefaces A RANT:

“Saving people for their own good and despite themselves and other things that fucking PISS ME OFF”

WARNING: THIS is OFFENSIVE. If you consider yourself anti-porn, feminist, humanist, WHATEVER…if you feel that porn, or the sex industry, or any such thing is BAD for society, if you feel that women who work in such industries are being victimized, or are whores, or are stupid, or that such things make men rapists, if you object to objectification or rough sex or all of that good stuff, if you think, in essence, that YOU and all those on YOUR side are RIGHT and the REST of us are violent, antisocial sexually twisted perverted animals or sad, beaten, defeated little victims with no sense of judgment or morality or intelligence, well then, READ THIS at your own risk. I am USUALLY civil. Well, civility has taken the evening off, friends and neighbors, and now I am just feeling surly and annoyed. Take it.

Preface: This is NOT directed at ALL people in the anti porn camps, or ALL feminists by any stretch of the imagination…just those who think THEIR version of right is the ONLY one out there….and this here rant MAY lack my normal logic and cyborg like detachment, but OH WELL.

Okay, dogs and bitches, let’s get this party started…

Hey, people who think you know what’s best for me, and everyone else in the world who is not like you or disagrees with you? Fuck off, you’re wrong. Let me break it down for you…

Today, whilst torturing myself by reading mass quantities of anti-pornography literature, some by famous names in the field like Dworkin and Jensen (heh, those of you who are regulars here will recognize that name, he’s the professor I got into that massive debate with…) as well as countless “amateur” blogs and communities dedicated to the subject, I ran across the blog of a staunchly anti-porn woman, and in it, I found this quote in a response to someone attempting to engage her in debate about the effects of porn…

“While you're busy playing your "good argument" games, women are being raped and murdered.”

Now, sure, a lot of what she said, generalized, blah blah blah pissed me off (though she is a good writer with some style), that made me hit the roof. Not only do I get a little pissed when someone BLANKET blames the sex industry for women being raped and murdered, I was annoyed that she was unwilling to engage someone who disagreed with her and merely wrote them off as someone who enabled horrific acts.

Listen, we all know that I am pro-porn. It’s pretty damn obvious. I like porn, I’m a stripper, I like rough sex and degradation and all kinds of wacky things that others might find offensive. I have a fake rack and I get my nails done and actually have a lot of fun being objectified on many occasions…hell, I have the theory “if I won’t personally do it, I won’t watch it in porn”…and considering the porn I like, that says something. If I don’t like something, I do not watch it, or do it. AND HELL if I do not take a lot of flack for this from a whole lot of other people, mostly women, for it. I’ve been called just about every name you can think of, from a “traitor to my gender” (thanks, btw, I REALLY am starting to see that as a HIGH compliment) to a whore (by women who supposedly HATE such a male-owned and driven words) to “stupid”…why? Because I do not tow the party line…and I am not going start any time soon.

You know, I used to consider myself a feminist. Seriously. Sure, maybe an off the beaten path kind of feminist, but a feminist nonetheless. Now, the mere word makes my skin crawl on occassion because so many OTHER feminists annoy the shit out of me. Hell, you bitches may very well turn me into the world’s biggest misogynist yet! I don’t hate men. I don’t think women who willingly use their bodies for fun AND profit need saving. I don’t, in short, think the MAN is keeping me and all other women down, nor do I think everything that is wrong in the world can be blamed on sexism or patriarchy or greed. AND I do not think, as a woman, it is my right to think or speak for ANY woman other than myself and those who say “damn Ren, I agree with you!”

Do I think women are equal to (if different from) men and worthy of respect (if it is earned)? Of course I do. I think ALL people; men and women should be respected if it is earned. Do I think women were solely placed upon this earth for the pleasure and sexual gratification of men? Hell no. Do I think ALL men, consciously or unconsciously, constantly objectify women? Absolutely not. Do I think BIOLOGY AND HORMONES will cause both men and women to sometimes act inappropriately around whatever sex they are attracted to? Yep. Face it, the human race has a talent for behaving idiotically, and that tendency is NOT gender specific…

So yeah, let’s talk about the sex industry, shall we?I think today I probably read the words “porn should be outlawed”, “strip clubs should be outlawed”, “any erotica depicting the objectification of/violence towards women should be outlawed” one hundred times at least. “Outlawed” was equally matched by “heavily regulated” and “heavily monitored”. You know what I say to that…?

Wait for it…

“KEEP YOUR LAWS OFF MY FUCKIN’ BODY!”

YEP! The same argument used for the pro-choice movement. WHY? Because the theory of ‘my body, my choice’ SHOULD not be solely limited to pregnant women. It is, after all, my body, and if I choose to swing on a poll or screw guys on film or in a brothel for money, well it is MY body I am using to make a living, and my choice! Is it ANYONE’S right to take that choice from me? If I wanted or needed a medical procedure, or an abortion, countless women would say I had the RIGHT to have it, that the choice was MINE, and NO one should tell me what I should or should not, can or could not do. However, since I DON’T NEED an abortion and chose to get implants and take off my clothes for money and, oh, perhaps take it up the ass on film for fun and profit, suddenly, well, my body (and the activities I do with it) need to be regulated. What about my rights, my choice, my voice as a female, even if it is not the popular one? Hell, in many ways the hardcore feminist/anti-porn movement is damaging to women. Women who do not happen to tow the party line that is, because we DO NOT agree, and thus, we are not speaking for females the way feminists want us to, so we are not included. And I am not the only woman who thinks so… http://www.wendymcelroy.com/isil.htm

Well, I say fuck that, no kiss, no lube, no reach around. I do not DARE to claim that I speak for women as a whole, and it enrages me when OTHER women feel they do, or can.Face it, by merely blasting me for making the choices I make, suggesting that the sex industry should be outlawed, you seek to take away my rights as a woman to BE independent, to WORK in the field I choose to, and to ENJOY what sort of erotic material I enjoy, and to that I say, um, go to hell, where do you get off thinking YOUR way is the right way and that all women should feel as you do? It’s not your right, so get over it.

Oh, wait, wait, I forgot…porn and the sex industry and strippers and other assorted loose moral degenerates and sluts cause rape. Shoot, the ‘other side’ has TONS of scientific evidence to back this up, tons of examples of how a woman on all fours taking cock in every orifice and a ton of cum to the face (and liking it) on film makes men think that ALL women must love such things. Well, hell, I DO love such things, but for the sake of argument, let’s pretend women like me do not exist, and we do not do such things of our own accord (heh, there is fantasy I am sure some of my “fans” COULD masturbate too), and no woman EVER, ever got off on being called a whore and taking it up the ass… except those in porn. Because a lot of the “other side” thinks that is actually the way it is, that no “real” woman does the things “porn women” do… Guess what? It still would not matter. RAPE is NOT about SEX, it is about POWER. Men who rape women HATE women and want to hurt and control them, they do not want them to ENJOY it, a woman actually enjoying such things robs him of the power and control he was after in the first place. And it does not much matter if the woman dresses like a slut or school marm, if he is OF THE MIND TO RAPE, he is going to do it, and ANYTHING, from booze to a bad hair day is likely to set him off and make him do it.

Oh, yeah, what about all those porn=rape and sexual violence studies?Ahem.http://www.solomonsrefuge.com/PornStudies.htmhttp://www.sexwork.com/coalition/lesscrime.htmlWe can find studies too, that contradict yours. Why? Because Human psychology and deviance and desire and all things having to do with the human condition are NEVER an exact science. No side is ever truly representative of all or fully inclusive, in short, no study is ever going to be RIGHT.

Now we’ll move onto objectification…are people, men and women, objectified in porn? HELL YES. They are! Often times the majority object to the objectification of the women, but you know something I noticed? Amongst people who watch a lot of porn, even the most extreme kind found legally…they KNOW and remember the actresses’ names, and not the actors. They can tell you which woman (who is, yes often called nothing more that a slut throughout her whole scene) was in which part of what movie, what she looks like, and what she seemed to enjoy the most, where as the men are nameless, often faceless, body parts. Ron Jeremy. That is the one male name MOST people who know something about porn can tell you, versus Jenna Jamison, Audrey Hollander, Marilyn Chambers, and, lest we forget the old school, Bettie Page…not to mention NUMEROUS others. The women are, due to the sex acts themselves, the focus. I will also add that there is a lot of porn were one can see men getting slapped around and treated roughly by women just as easily as they can see the reverse. In either case, there are people, both women and men, who enjoy being objectified and degraded, who enjoy rough sex. Shoot, do a blog interest search; you’ll be surprised how many people’s names pop up with an interest in such things! Some people like romantic dinners and romance novels and red wine to set the mood, some like the latest release from MayhemXXX, and every group is entitled to find their arousal where they want...

Now, let’s talk about STD’s…According to the CDC, the group of people with the highest growing rate of infection by STD’s in the US are TEENAGERS, ahem, people who should not be watching porn, going to strip clubs, or hiring sex workers. (http://healthlink.mcw.edu/article/976735469.html) Due to recent scares, the porn industry HAS taken steps to control STD’s amongst performers. Tests are being required more often, performers NOT listed on the “adult media database” are not being considered for employment, and many performers are now insisting or going back to “safe sex” practices such as filming with condoms. Face it, porn stars do not want to catch aids any more than anyone else does…. and the porn industry does not want Washington and the CDC all up in their business, or further more, their business shut down.

Regulations: Okay, here is the ONE concession you are gonna get out of me… I think it is way too easy for children to get their hands on adult material, via the Internet, and I think it would be GREAT if the industry did something about this. The actual responsibility falls on the parents, I believe, but it would not kill the industry itself to do some policing of their own, and I will also say that I think it would be great if sex workers unionized.

And now, let’s talk about victims… Are some people working in the adult industry victims? Victims of rape and abuse and a lack of education or self worth? Of course they are. Are some people working in the local diner down the street victims of rape and abuse and a lack of education or self worth? Of course they are. I feel for ANYONE, from the prostitute to the IT director, who is working in a job that they hate or feel they were forced into but cannot leave due to economic reasons or a lack of available/practical options. Like so many things, this problem is NOT limited to the sex industry. And there are people in the sex industry who enjoy their work, a lot, and are happy. Hell, I love my job. I am ALL FOR people trying to help sex workers who are not where they want to be. I am also ALL FOR people leaving those who are happy the hell alone. I think a lot of people would be stone cold shocked to know how many porn stars, strippers and prostitutes are highly educated, smart, business savvy people. Of course, this would RUIN the image of the downtrodden victim who was forced into whoring her/himself that seems to feed so many “anti” arguments. Um, some folks don’t actually MIND being whores…I hate to break it to ya…

And now, cats and kittens, I bring this rant to a close with the following. I know people are never going to agree about porn, or sex, or violence. The scopes of the subjects are too large, emotions often too hot, I just think it would be nice if people stopped trying to tell other people what they can and cannot do, watch, or enjoy so long as the participants are consenting adults.This is America, after all, land of the free, home of the brave, and freedom ain’t always pretty or socially acceptable as a whole.

~Fin and Fire at Will