I said I was gonna do it…I warned y’all and everything! Just few posts down I stated plain out I was gonna talk about it, and yep, here we go, I am…PORN. (and, well, yeah, sex...)
You know what? I really, really like porn. In fact, I am pretty sure I have yet to actually meet a woman, a real, live, breathing one who likes porn as much as I do…let alone likes the kind of porn I do. I am an anomaly or something. Freaky perv me, I loves me some gonzo porn.
Why, one might ask? Or, maybe they wouldn’t, but guess what, my blog, if I wanna talk about porn (& sex), I’m gonna, so jump back and watch me get down with my porn-lovin’ self. I dig the porn because…
Well…
For as often as you hear folk of all ilk say flat out that porn is in no way representative of their sexuality, their sexual desires, or their sex life…um…yeah. For me? It’s pretty accurate. Spookily so even. Truth is, as I have heard the BDSM folk mention on occasion when speaking about their first exposure to bondage or what have ya…first time I saw crazy gonzo porn sex? Well, something clicked there. It felt liking finding home in a sexual sense. I spent a lot of time listening to folk talk about romantic movie scenes or the whole rose petals and red wine deal, or even just plain old regular sex being their thing, what got them going. I also remember thinking “eh?”. Not my thing. Sent no bells, alarms, or nice tingly feelings a-racin’ for me. Nope. Nadda. Nothing. Snoozefest. And like a lot of the BDSM folk I’ve heard mention it, I spent more than a little time thinking “what the hell is up with me? This is soooo not normal.” Fortunately, I got to a point where I ceased caring. Y’all know I have no problem with people having the kind of sex they prefer with other consenting adults and all…but I’ll tell ya…there is at least one woman out here who does dig the porn sex. It is a representation of her sexuality, desires, and regular everyday sex life, and just like a lot of folk get off from their slash, or erotica, or fetish themed photography…I dig the gonzo porn.
Foreplay? What the hell is that? Cunnilingus? I hate it. Smooth jazz, sweet nothings, tender kisses and slow, sensual love? GAHHHH…NO! Does nothing for me. Nothing. In fact, it makes me queasy. I mean, no matter how good the partner is at it, that kind of sex is just bad sex, no matter what, in the mind of Ren. And most of the time, the ritual and respect and, yeah, extensively long foreplay of BDSM just isn’t for me. Bondage? Flogging? So on, so forth? Sure, okay on occasion…but for me that is like eating a rich, decadent foreign delicacy…it tastes great, but you only do it once in awhile. And for me, yeah, it can even get tedious. Nah, gimmie the gonzo. Gimmie the hard, fast, rough, dehumanized, emotionless, rude, animalistic sex. Gimmie the throat fucking and crazy anal, the spitting, snarling, slapping, hair pulling, name calling, multiple partner, sweaty, messy, inconsiderate not pretty or sweet or romantic frenzy. I don’t think I’ve ever made love in my life. I far prefer hate-fucking. Make up sex around here could land someone in the hospital someday…or at least leave them walking funny and with hyper-extended joints the next day. If your makeup and hair are still perfect after having sex…you’re not me, that’s for damn sure. What I do, what I watch on film? No different than what I do in my regular old human sex life. Actually, it’s a bit tamer.
Gimmie the gonzo!
That’s why I love porn. Because it is a damn accurate expression of my sexuality and sexual desires. And that makes me hot. No shame week, remember?
25 comments:
Actually, I know of one other woman who might love porn as much as you, Margret Cho.
All along, I've just figured you're wired differently. I am happy for your sake that you've found your niche and it works well for you. What I don't understand is the idea that what you do is Wrong and Bad and Demeaning and all, when you're the one doing it and you like it. The only things I think are deviant are the nonconsensual acts. Everything else-find what works and go with it.
Wow.
Well that's why you're General Gonzo, after all.
Tell you the truth, I don't go in for shitloads of intense foreplay action myself -- I've met very who actually have a clue how to give GOOD cunnilingus. "Quit clowing around down there!" I've wanted to yell more than once.
NO oral is better than bad oral, hands down, for this gal.
RT: Indeed!
Cat Czar: Salute!
Huh. I think we're probably just about polar opposites there, then. although I wonder sometimes if things would be different without the gorram antidepressants. all's i know is: i like slow, at least for warm-up. like, LONG warm-ups. and light, and sensual, and alla that.
written erotica over (most) visual prawn, etc. etc.
not exclusively, and not necessarily "egalitarian," romance, sunset, alla that; in fact i'm fairly twisted...but it's often a subtle devious mental kind of twist.
but yeah, i don't like hard and fast, at least not -erotically-. getting out sheer aggro might be something else, but for me that's a different kind of high. generally speaking someone going at me rough and fast without preamble or finesse is like...well, very unpleasant. shuts me down, makes me cranky, and NOT in an erotic way. more in a stop stop i want to get off and watch TV now, thanks so much kind of way.
Margaret Cho, yeah, heh:
"STICK IT IN!!"
Kim: in general, no ___ is better than bad ___, i've decided.
oh, oh, my first experience with another woman: so much for the myth that women automatically know what pleases another woman's body, bless her. jab jab jab poke poke poke...
I don't know how gonzo what I've seen is
but
i love the poses
the whole "here I am and I am presenting myself to be fucked" thing
it is just... well it's the psychic equivalent of a sledgehammer
HELLO. SEX. NOW.
it's nice.
and as much as I love cunnilingus, the whole OMG HEAD IS THE ONE THING WOMEN LOVE THE MOST thing... well um it IS great IMO but yeesh, babble about something else for once people
:)
and really it's not fun to me when it's trying to be overly sweet & cute. sweet sex only works for me when it really is an expression of love or intense fondness. not the whole "I want some smooth gentle lovin'" silliness. blech.
and often when getting vanilla head my mind is going "and this would be sexier if ze were my slave performing sexual service" and putting imaginary collars on people anyway
oh & on head
long as I'm babbling ridiculously
giving it can be fun too. i don't get the whole "sucking cock is inherently demeaning" blathery nonsense -- sure, it can be about male domination
buuuuuuuuut alsooooo
writhing incoherent little boys are fun to toy with, says I
:)
...you know, it occurs to me that my own preferences might very well have more to do with my overall personality and paticularly how I integrate sensory experience in general than anything else. I'm not really shy anymore, but I -am- very introverted in that too much external stimulus for too long overwhelms me and makes me want to shut down. especially hard, bright, loud...crowds drain me, and I get claustrophobic easily.
the good ol Myers Briggs thing, iow.
which Ren I suspect I am -also- perhaps the polar opposite of you...
(btw i don't generally think of oral as "foreplay..." actually it's funny, i don't really think of "foreplay" as distinct from "the main event," because for me it isn't THE main event, or at any rate not always the SAME main event...)
and really it's not fun to me when it's trying to be overly sweet & cute. sweet sex only works for me when it really is an expression of love or intense fondness.
agreed.
cute is for kittens, small children, and teddy bears...
not some dude I am screwing.
so sayeth the Renegade :)
Trinity:
" love the poses
the whole "here I am and I am presenting myself to be fucked" thing
it is just... well it's the psychic equivalent of a sledgehammer
HELLO. SEX. NOW.
it's nice."
Heheh, ayep. Man, are we some ballsy, uncouth womenz up in here or what?
giving it can be fun too.
as i've said, i'm very oral. and no, i do not believe that this is all socialized hooha; i think there's a reason my cat likes to sink his teeth into various toys (including my damn ankle and other uncovered bits) and gets that glazy look in his eye; it's a very primitive instinct.
to taste, suckle, devour.
and the mouth is or can be a very erogenous zone; why do the clowns who moan about how no one REALLY likes oral think people enjoy kissing, for heaven's sake?
"oh, oh, my first experience with another woman: so much for the myth that women automatically know what pleases another woman's body, bless her. jab jab jab poke poke poke..."
OHHHHH YEAH
i remember thinking my first dyke gf would be absolutely amazing at fingering me... I was less reluctant than usual because I figured she knew all about slow & careful, particularly since I told her about my pain down there issues and how to make me feel good rather than bad. also her fingers were thinner than many guys'.
great deal, right right?
OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW.
I hurt for days.
"and the mouth is or can be a very erogenous zone; why do the clowns who moan about how no one REALLY likes oral think people enjoy kissing, for heaven's sake?"
hahahahahah right on!
I've never been big on kinkless kissing myself tbh. for me it has to involve some kind of domination to work: forcing my tongue down someone's throat, grabbing them and planting one on 'em
or pain:
telling them to hold still and let me kiss them while I do some ouchy thing, or biting them, or leaving hickeys even
but the just *kiss kiss moan tongues play around a bit*
really does nada.
hehehe
old play partner, couple years ago:
"well, you definitely kiss like a top. daaaaaaaaaaamn."
haha. cuz that's all that's fun for me, really.
I'm odd tho'
"btw i don't generally think of oral as "foreplay..." "
I don't at all.
Belle: I think it does make a difference. I took anti-anxiety pills for six months after giving birth for post-partum insomnia. During that time it took a lot longer to rev up, although it was just as nice once I got there... just a longer trip and more patience required from everyone (and by "everyone" I mean the two of us -- yes I'm boring that way).
I'm pretty sure Dacia loves porn as much as you do. She's got an apartment full of it. Including milk enemas!
Oh and cunnilingus? Eh, I'm pretty non-plussed about it, generally. Every once in a blue moon, I'm really into it. But most of the time? I'd rather just get to the fucking already, dammit.
Amber: Ah, yes, Dacia may very well, but I have not met her in the flesh, and I suspect we have different tastes in porn? I could, however, be wrong.
"cute is for kittens, small children, and teddy bears...
not some dude I am screwing."
Heh.
I getcha there.
For me, "baby talk" or even giggling turns me off.
"For me, "baby talk" or even giggling turns me off."
HA!
That's why I hate the word "pussy," even used positively. I know it's a "nasty" word, but it just makes me think of someone acting smitten and silly beholding a darling li'l kitten. And then kittens and cuteness make me think of children and... GAH! Just say "cunt" instead if you want to talk dirty, and spare my brain, people! *grin*
And that's not something I want to think of when fucking or reading about fucking or watching others fuck... gah. ew.
I also don't like "baby" as a term of endearment, and I think some of my reasons are similar, coupled with my mind flashing onto some sleazoid going "Oh yeah baaaaaaaaabyyyyy!"
I can't warn people vehemently enough not to call me "baby." Hearing it does to me the equivalent of, say, splashing ice-cold water on some dude's hardon.
...although, on "pussy," I do have to say that someone on an email list I was on went by "KissMyPanther" and I thought that was just fucking awesome.
If it's a panther and not a cute little housecat, okay, maybe. :)
you're my fucking hero.
pun most certainly intended.
-stephen gros
"...although, on "pussy," I do have to say that someone on an email list I was on went by "KissMyPanther" and I thought that was just fucking awesome.
If it's a panther and not a cute little housecat, okay, maybe. :)"
You should know that the panther referred to is a tattoo on my ass, not a body part. The name means "kiss my ass" not anything else.
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