Pornspeak part 2: On the throne of “persondom”

So, some further thinking on pornspeak, and also some thinking on this post by the Apostate, and the tendency we have to equate our physical bodies, most specifically the holes between our legs, to our persondom, our soul, our worth, the proverbial holy grail of who we are.

For a long time I’ve felt that this was a view driven heavily by religious thought, applied most heavily to women, perpetuated by various aspect of society, and enforced by both genders with almost equal zeal. I find this odd, as I’ve always found the view that a woman’s worth, the throne of her persondom, is her vaginal, or, more broadly, her sexuality was extremely patriarchal, if we’re going there. Yep, it’s true, I don’t believe sex is an intimate act, that, as Ariel Levy says, those of us in sex work “are giving up the most private part of their being for public consumption”, that, in short, the most precious, personal, intimate thing I have to offer someone is, well, my cunt. It’s a biological thing, capable of acts wonderful, pleasurable, amazing and all kinds of stuff, but it is not some mystical center of my soul, or of my personhood…it’s an organ, flesh and blood, kind of like a hand or a foot. It does not posses cosmic spiritual power. Intimacy and such? Those things live in the heart and head, not the crotch. And thus the assertion that a woman’s worth, her soul, her persondom, her HER is somehow affixed to her genitalia has always vexed me…not it in a it makes me angry way, but in a I don’t get it way…. especially when I hear it out of feminists or atheists…because it is such a patriarchy/religious driven notion.

I talked about the notion specifically in how I didn’t get it with regards to feminism and such here. One of my better off into strange world rants, imho. And admittedly, I have not been raped, I do not know what kind of a violation that must be, how horrible it must be, and how it affects ones sense of persondom, their sense of worth or self. I don’t, and I am not going to pretend that I do or can even act like I understand, because I can’t. Nor have I lived in a society like the one the Apostate hails from, where gender based segregation is highly enforced and the roles of women are so harshly defined and limited, so I will not pretend to understand or know what that is like either.

But yes, in general, the willingness of so many people who rail against such things in so many ways to define a woman’s worth, her very soul and persondom, by what she does with her cunt absolutely blows my mind. I Just Do Not Get It.

So right, how does this all relate to pornspeak again? Well, because it relates often to words said about a woman in a sexual sense. Whore, slut, tramp, cunt. It devalues her sexually- worthless whore. It plays on, counts on, and sells on, and yes, offends on the notion that a woman’s worth and status as a human is somehow tied to her genitalia…and everyone, from the religious right to feminists to the average person on the street is buying it. Lock, Stock and Barrel, they are buying it. And damn does it sell.

And I guess I don’t see that kind of speak as so degrading because I’ve never felt that my sexual organs were somehow the mystical center of my self. Worthless whore? Okay, sure, if you buy into that crap it might be offensive. I don’t, so it’s not. If anything, it’ amusing to me. The idea that a woman is somehow lesser then, not worth anything, soulless, simply because she fucks a lot and does weird, kinky, “nasty” stuff, or gasp, gets paid for it? Only one of the stupid notions in the entirety of the world, really. And so many people buy into it. I can’t really see jumping all over pornographers for doing this kind of stuff when it sells so well and women buy into it and enforce it so heartily themselves.

There are words out there that hurt, that are degrading, but they are not the ones I generally see in porn copy. My appearance gets attacked all the time-same with a lot of women, and sure, it gets old, but its not the throne of my soul. My intelligence gets attacked a lot- same with a lot of people, both female and male, and yep, that annoys me. My feelings? Yep, those too. The fact that folk are quick to accuse me of having no soul gets old too…because those things are more about what, in my opinion, makes up the throne of persondom…far more what make up a persons worth than their genitalia ever could be.

But so long as other people continue to buy and sell the notion that a woman’s center, her soul, and her worth is found between her legs…I suppose I will be chuckling and not getting it, and other people will be offended by pornspeak.