That I am, in fact, very prejudiced.
Against “normal people”. I do not understand normal people. They are strange and odd and other to me. And yep, sure enough, they come in all colors and sizes, and yep, sure enough, often, I do not like them. They annoy and aggravate me.
They do this, you see, because normal people feel perfectly entitled to ask people like me questions they would never ask other normal people-with no invitation- then get very defensive or whatever else when you call them on it or get annoyed with their forwardness. Often amid a whole lot of shock, gasp, pearl clutch, why I never, judgment kind of stuff.
Why yes, it happened just a few evenings ago, in fact! I finished work fairly early, headed on out to see a friends band play, met up with other friends and their friends there, all is right in the world, then comes the “well, what do you do” question. Which is not something I am gonna lie about for other peoples fee-fees or safe spaces or whatever the hell else ever. And sure enough, people I’ve just met, “normal people”, have the fucking nerve to interrogate me. Yeah, I get it, my job is a little unusual, but for fucksake, that does not mean you get to ask me if I have any fucking STD’s, if I’ve ever had an abortion, or if I was molested or dropped out of fucking high school. Especially when you end up scratching your damn head when I tell you such questions are “grievously ill-advised”. And no, normal accountant girl, you cannot see my implant scars, and no, guy who still lives with his parents, I will not “hook you up” with a co-worker, and no, giddy yet shocked couple, I will not “experiment” with you sometime. I don’t find either of you attractive, I see no money, and I think you are assholes. Go fuck yourselves!
Every once in awhile I do go out and actually spend time with normal people…so I can remember why I do it so fucking rarely.
It’s because you suck and I hate you.
I’ve also just about had it with FCB. I can actually see myself leaving there as a blogger real fucking soon.
Saturday, February 02, 2008
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18 comments:
Can I piggyback on this? About those "normal people"? I get interrogated about what I do, as well, only in my case, it's "Wimminz Studies?! What's THAT? Whaddaya do - study WIMMIN?! Ha-ha!"
Hilarious.
I cannot tell you how many times some father of a friend or some guy at a bar or just some random man somewhere has said this to me. I NEVER say, "God, you're an ACCOUNTANT? Holy shit - I would slit my wrists if I had to crunch numbers all day." Or "Wow, you're an asshole who won't give his employees health benefits? How does it feel to have everyone hate you?" I always try to think of intelligent questions to ask people about their work, and even if I am batshit bored and would rather pick my toenails than hear about it, I feign interest. If I can do it, so can they.
Ren, I think you need a t-shirt that reads something like:
"Yes, I am a stripper.
No, you can't have a free show.
No, I'm not attracted to you.
No, I can't "hook you up" with my friend for free.
No, I didn't turn out this way because I was abused as a child.
No, you can't feel my implants.
And finally:
This IS my job."
See it's funny, cuz I would ask you questions too probably, if I had just met you, but not those questions. :P
Probably more like, "oh really, how do you like that?" "does it get as boring and aggravating as my job?" etc etc. :P
I have this feeling, from working in customer service, not to mention being rather "odd" in so many ways, that I also hate "normal" people. :P
It always freaked me the fuck out when people asked me and my girlfriend how we had sex, because that was a reasonable question in there world and in there eyes.
God people. die.
Cheshire.
OMG YES!
What, you study women?! Ha ha ha...
I hate that so very much >.<
Heh. I think my questions (cold) would be:
How's business?
Clients generally easy enough to work with?
Any interesting projects you're working on?
Haha, well. My sympathies. I guess I'm one of those "normal" people, but the Bay Area is a little different in that, even the normal people are so used to the social-outcast types that they don't get freaked out and act weird. That's not to say they won't gossip about you behind your back, of course.
I certainly do not question or treat differently sex workers (or other alternative lifestyle folk) that I meet in real life -- they ARE just people. And although I'm very used to being extensively interrogated myself (Americans are curious people), I restrain questions I might want to ask of those who might have interesting responses -- everyone needs a break from repeating their social scripts.
Now don't mince words, Ren ... what do you REALLY think?? :)
"Against “normal people”. I do not understand normal people. They are strange and odd and other to me. And yep, sure enough, they come in all colors and sizes, and yep, sure enough, often, I do not like them. They annoy and aggravate me."
word.
and people say "no one is really normal."
well, if there's not normal, there is at least an... unreflective and judgmental identification with what the culture says is normal. and i do not like those people.
I always hated, when I was stripping, "normal people" asking things about fooling around with couples, entertaining, etc. Even if one did want to mix business and friendship (even if it's friend-of-friendship), why are strippers/sexworkers more likely to want to give it away free? A couple of times I would respond that I'd consider it if they'd take on legal work or investment work or make jewelry or whatever they did, gratis. That usually helped get the point across.
When I have customers who are strippers, I mostly 'interrogate' them about their legs, feet, knees and things they have learned about staying on their feet so long, usually on terrible shoes. They tell me all kinds of practical things about padded/gel shoe inserts! Most have had foot/knee/ankle/leg issues, if they have been doing it for any length of time. Likewise -I- have terrible knees, feet, etc from standing so much.
Also, have had a few with problems keeping weight ON, with all the dancing and sweating, and we talk a lot about that stuff.
If one looks for commonality with someone, one can usually find it. The people who don't? Don't want to. (And I don't like em either.)
I went over to FC just now. The SuperBowl brings out the radfem in me. :P
Yeah, I'd be asking "How do you get started at something like that?" or "Do you think I'd be any good at it?" but not those questions. Guess I'm not normal either ;)
Ren... "normal people" are the very reason why I became a recluse. I understand completley where you are coming from on this. What ever happened to "polite conversation"?
Sigh.
Outis
I think it's pretty much a settled question: the average is low. Which leads to the question, why do these people deserve honest answers to their impertinent questions? As opposed to whatever outlandish story pops into your head? After all, it's not like anything they say is gonna keep you amused. When you're stuck among stiffs, it's up to you to entertain yourself.
Not that I don't admire your honesty; I just lack virtue.
Went to check FCB to see what you might be referring to.
Yup.
*sigh*
I'm dealing with a huge chunk of jaded at the moment on this exact topic. Fucking normals with their fucking questions and judgements...
I've recently realised that even in my very progressive social circle, my comfort with being open about my job is seen as "wrong" by some people. On top of that, I've overheard a few things recently that hammer home that the way they see me and the way they see "other" sex workers are vastly different. My job has a certain status. The full service girls? Just whores.
Angry hexy.
You know, I guess I'm "normal" (though I do sometimes get puzzled looks when I tell people what I do), but even then, I wouldn't even think to ask you the kind of questions you seem to get.
I was trying to articulate this sentiment to someone a few weeks ago, but just couldn't quite get it out. What I was trying to convey was, I usually feel very uncomfortable around "normal people" - but I couldn't manage to say it without it sounding the wrong way. I think I'll just point them to your post, if the topic ever comes up again!
Also, this is the quote of the day:
Every once in awhile I do go out and actually spend time with normal people…so I can remember why I do it so fucking rarely.
It's because you suck and I hate you.
LOL! (And, so true.)
Sorry for being the "normal" one. ((Hugs)) if you want them. And I promise I won't ask questions that ain't my business.
You deserve better than this sort of aggravation.
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