Transpeople

And now, a few thoughts on this whole transgender thing that blew up while I was chillin’ in the sun…

I don’t get a lot of it. I don’t get a lot of folks objection to the term “cis”. I don’t get how folk who are so all about being women, yet warriors against gender-which yep, is largely constructed by society- but still, love their woman/female-ness and all, love, love, love it, get so riled up when some woman who might have been born with different parts, but felt that woman/female-ness all along just wants to be seen as who and what she is, and accepted as such. Then there are the lists of things that “real women/women born women” (puke) can do that those other women can’t…like have babies. Produce breast milk. Have periods. Except, you know, a lot of cis-women can’t do those things…they can’t have babies, or produce breast milk, and sooner or later they all stop having periods.

Does that make them “not women”? No one seems to want to answer that, but sometimes I feel like the answer out of some might be yes…

I also don’t get how some people who claim so much not to care about appearances get so angry at the appearances transwomen take on, be they gender ambigious or plain or “passing” or down-right girlie.

I don’t get how people who are so against gender turn around and attempt to enforce it themselves.

In short, I don’t get the hate on some folk have for transpeople. I mean, I’m fairly certain most of them don’t want in on feminist or women’s events so they can bully, rape, or “mack on” women. I’d rather think that, oh, they want to be in on those things because they are women? I mean, if we’re going to talk about constructs of female gender and “realness’ presentation…myself and other ciswomen are way more far gone than a lot of transwomen.

And you know, I also think transpeople go a hell of a lot further in challenging gender that other folk do. Wow, did I just type that out loud? I guess I did. But you know, a lot of the roles cis-women treasure and use as symbols of pride (like motherhood and the birthing of babies) are the same ones so many women and feminists have been challenging for years? Yes, biology dictates that the women have the babies. But gender dictates the mothering role. Lot’s of women would be hard pressed, even the most feministy ones of all, to give up their long hair or flowing skirts. Biology doesn’t dictate women wear these things…gender does. Biology does not dicate being kind, or nuturing, or loving or sisterly…gender does. I mean, isn’t that the oldest construct of them all? Man/Male- warrior/defender/hunter, Woman/Female- breeder/caretaker/peace-keeper? Man-Hard, Woman-Soft? (and wow I could go off on that one in different contexts, but that will wait…)

There are a lot of folk who go against all those gender grains, and a lot of them are trans folk.

And oh my in the oppression Olympics…well, I’ve always really liked what RosaRose said about that one, oddly enough, over a year ago when this same bullshit was boiling over everywhere:

“The Transgender issue. My roommate? M to F. I live in South Miami Beach, which is hugely accepting of all sorts of gender sliding and expression. It is, in many ways, a utopia for those of non-concrete sexuality and sexual identity and I love it. It is a festival of difference and tolerance in most circles. And transgender people are real people, with real emotions and experiences too, and I am sick of seeing feminists attack and degrade them. “It?” Where in the numerous Chinese Hells is it okay to call someone, a living, breathing, human being “it”? Mind then if I call you “stupid bigoted cretin?” Don’t like it? Too bad. No, trans women are not ‘biological, born women’. They have had the opportunity to suckle at the teat of the Patriarchy (Ha, the Patriarchy has teats!), but do you think, oh wise womb bearing feminists, that when they become women that the HELL they go through, physically, emotionally, in their souls, minds and bodies, and via society does not balance out the Karma just a teensy, weensy bit? Of course you don’t, that is evident, because your pain is far more valid and the only pain that matters! Most trans women I have encountered tend to be caring, soulful people who care about all women, which is more than I can say for some who were born that way. For all the boiled down whining that basically amounts to “It sucks to be a woman” you’d think some respect for women who have the intestinal fortitude to give up the “boy privilege” to BECOME women…who are subject to rape and discrimination and hate just like born women, is in order… but then again, I guess that would just give some people one less cause and thing to hate.”

I mean really, I can’t improve or expound on that too much, because I think it sums it up pretty nicely, really. Because you know, in my experience, the transpeople I’ve actually known? They get it bad. Worse than any cisperson I’ve ever known. Violence, being tormented, questioning themselves and depression, excommunication from friends, family, and community, constantly being questioned on each and everything. I hear people with kids say how they might be able to handle if their son or daughter were gay, but if they were trans? All bets are off. They don’t know if they could handle it. They couldn’t accept it. And you know, when you see a person looking at their toddler who they seemingly love more than life itself and saying that, well, it certainly says something.

So no. I don’t get it. I probably never will get it. I’m a ciswoman who occasionally has weird dreams about being a dude, a porn gal with a fake rack who a lot of people consider awfully butch or masculine or whatever in attitude. But I’m a ciswoman, and a straight one at that. And you know, if someone claims and demonstrates their ability to be a friend or an ally or a decent human being, even a woman? I accept them as that, no matter what genitalia they were born with or how they identify.

I mean, if you hate gender and assigned roles and a lack of allies, if you abhore alienation and discrimination, why hang on to these things so tightly in the case of transpeople? It makes no sense. At all.

And that’s what I have to say on that issue.