Sex 2.0, the Awesome & the Suck

Grumpy airport Ren Reports! "Sex 2.0- the Awesome and the Suck!"

Part One: The Awesome

Okay, so, Friday morning I was up bright and early, headed down to Atlanta for Sex 2.0. My flight there was just fine, left out of Dulles, landed around noon, then made my way via MARTA and foot to the hotel. It was bit chillier than I expected. My room wasn’t ready yet, no big thing, so I made a couple calls to see who was around, let Amber know I had arrived in one piece, so on so forth. I wandered around a bit, then got my room…which was pretty keen…big ass balcony, which is a blessing to us smoker types in a non-smoking hotel…and it had a stage in it. Seriously. All I was missing was the damn pole! So I settled in a bit, then decided to take up residency in the hotel bar (hell, this was part vacation after all!). Prior to heading to the bar, I met up with Mistress Maeve (who rocks like Hendrix), so we both headed down there to chill out for awhile, talked about work, fun, the scenes in our various hometowns, ect. (She has killer hair, btw…very, very blonde, and a great laugh.)

Then it was back up to the room to prepare for the pole dancing party. We all piled in two cars and headed to the class. There I met all kinds of cool folk that I’ve never actually spoken to face to face, we all strapped on our heels and got sexy with our bad selves. It was a lot of fun, and I completely approve of Amber’s instructors choices in music. After that various folk headed in different directions, but later in the eve, oddly enough, many of us ended up back in the hotel bar for snacks and drinks…a little island of sex positives, pervs, sexworkers and other assorted freaks amid the straight-laced convention-goers of Atlanta…ah, paradise! Kimberlee, Melissa, Maeve and Match made sure I laughed hard enough to nearly shoot beer out of my nose at least once. Then a couple of us headed back to my room (shit, it had a stage) to hang out and chat…interesting topics being work, tech, and Ewan MacGregor’s cock…

Then it was sleepy time for the Renegade. Long about 3 am. However, I woke up bright and early on Saturday, without the help of a wake up call, feelin’ a little nervous, got ready, and headed down to the lobby. Haha, I wasn’t, not once, the entire weekend, the person who was late! Sir Rusty the Benevolent had rented a big ass van, and we all piled in and headed to the site, a club called 1736, where the festivities were to truly begin. I got a few…okay…more than a few…. odd looks as I made my way through the lobby. Not sure if it was the “I love Porn!” T-shirt, the belt buckle, my goofy spiked hair accessory, or my huge-ass lap top bag…or perhaps a combination of those things- but yeah, a few odd looks. Which made me giggle.

So we get there, and damn, what a keen place to have an event like this. Shit y’all, it was a huge ass dungeon, in the middle of suburban Atlanta. Then, the event was on. I attended Melissa Gira’s “Sex lives of the Internet Famous”, Elizabeth Woods “Creating the Sex Commons” & Kristi Kane’s “Sex Work & Internet Privacy” talks. (Kristi and I bonded over nicotine a great deal throughout the weekend.) All of the sessions were good. Melissa was very engaging and funny-getting the viewers in on the act with awkward situation improv in a medical fetish setting, Elizabeth…well, damn, the woman has a big sexy brain and is incredibly articulate, the dynamic she created with the participants was incredible, and her session really stands out as truly amazing in my mind, and Kristi & her co-speaker (who’s name eludes me) had a lot of really good information.

My two sessions were “Sex Work, Heels, Porn & Online Feminism” and “Yes, but do you swing?” The first was far more serious, and I was pleased with the group who attended, as everyone participated (even the menz!) and it was great to have Elizabeth there, because while our sessions were different (hers was way better), they did sort of dovetail topic wise in various places. My second one was pure fun, though I did kind of snicker…the attendees? Almost all male.

I also got to meet Viviane, Ellie, Jay, J.Brotherlove (who is… well…let’s say another amazingly smart dude with a whole lot of presence), Rachel Kramer Bussel, Twanna, and other very cool folk. Oh, can I just say Twanna cracks me up? I can? Good. Twanna cracks me up. I didn’t get to hang out with her much, but she strikes me as the type who adds fun to the room the second she walks in.

I do have to mock my Luddite self though. Yep, tech was part of the premise of the gig, and damn, it was flying! Live blogging, twittering, texting, I-phone madness, all kinds or wireless goodness…hell, I have a Razor and really long fake nails…I am in trouble when I have to text! Podcasting? Twittering? Live blogging? I think I turned my laptop on once at the conference, and Amber I believe noted I was a geek of a different sort. I think maybe the World of Warcraft desktop icon gave me away…I want an I-Phone now…damn you all!!! Hell, I am having issues getting my pictures off my stupid cell phone. Renegade’s tech learning grade? F!

Yet, it did appear that folk did actually realize that yes, Martha, I do have a sense of humor. And make a lot of silly faces. And…well…am a spaz.

My only complaint was I didn’t get to hear everyone! Fortunately, those tech savvy sorts…well, I can catch a lot of the presentations I missed on the net! You can too, which I highly suggest. Woohoo!

Then it was back in the van, back to the hotel and time for a nap…. before Saturday night festivities.

Around 10:30 or so, me, Match, FurryGirl, and Kim headed back over to 1736, where the after party/ fetish night thang was on. Amber, Dacia, Ellie, Minx, Jay, Maeve…shit, a whole lotta folk were there. Match proved a man can still be manly in a ruffled mini-skirt…and I will forever grin about topless texting (FTW!). I will boldly claim that I did have a cool outfit on, and I am not sure whether Amber and Dacia thinking I should have my own comic book is a good thing or a bad thing (grin). But, yes, to answer what seemed to be the burning question asked of me for the night…no, I have no problem wearing heels like that all the time…I mean, did ya see me outta heels all that much all weekend? Heh. Anyhoo, we hung out at the party for awhile-but at that point, I was pretty tired. As were a lot of folk. So, via the mercy of Ellie and Jay, I got a ride back to the hotel, hung out with them and Tiffany for a bit, then whilst they headed out to continue the mayhem in late night Atlanta, I went to bed.

Now, before we get to the evil of the Airport, a few random observations from my time in Atlanta…

-I’ve not been carded that much for cigarettes and booze in my life. I swear, I got carded more in Atlanta than I got carded when I was 18/21!
-The citizenry of Atlanta seemed to really like my nails.
-I shoulda brought a jacket!
-I scoff at your traffic.
-MARTA isn’t really that lame compared to the Metro.
-Apparently, being a sexworker has dulled my “creepy dude, you are invading my space” meter.
-There are apparently a whole lot more “evil sex workers” out there than people think! (but I knew that)
-Oh, and Amber rocks, great event, woman!

And no, I didn’t hook up with anyone all weekend. Amazing, ain’t it? I blame female biology!

And now, for the suck…

Y’all have heard the song Hotel California by the Eagles, right? Well, that is my new name for Atlanta International. Yes, the whole airplane industry was screwed due to the American Airlines incident, but wooo, let me tell you. As I stated in a previous entry, my ticket had the wrong date on it. I looked up Delta’s website, and right there, it says if one has to change a ticket, it costs 100$. So sure, I figured, okay, it’s 100$, they fly from Atlanta to DC once a damn hour…this won’t kill me. So, I check outta my room, walked to MARTA with Maeve, we went to the airport, then she was off to catch her flight home, and I went to the Delta ticketing desk…

And stood in line for 45 minutes. Then I finally got to talk to a ticket agent. Who was from hell, or possibly Wyoming, not sure which. Couldn’t find my reservation. Is holding my damn ID and still asking me to spell my name, repeatedly. Was really an asshole. So on, so forth, then she informs me “I can get you on a flight, but it will be 350$”. My eyebrow shoots to my hairline. I mean, I’ve seen several people who have missed flights get reservation changes for 50$. I ask what’s up with that. She says because they were same day flights, it’s different. I tell her the website says changing domestic flights costs 100$ (which I had, cash, on me). She gives me this bitchy imperious look and says it will be 350$. I tell her to give me moment to call Mr.E and let him know what’s going on. She says sure, then goes to help the next person in line.

So I call him, and well, if that’s the way it has to be, use the AmEx card. So I hang up, and am standing there, credit card out, and she totally ignores me and continues helping everyone else. So, I say, rather loudly, “this is bullshit” and go back to the end of the line. And wait. For about 30 minutes. When she looks at me and says “You’re going to have to go to the full service desk and book a new flight, I can’t do that here right now.”

Rage…

So I go to the full-service desk. And wait in line. For another fucking hour. This agent however is very nice. She attempts to change my ticket for a mere 50$, but no, that cannot be done. I mention what it says on the website. She explains to me that basically, because flights are so full, I more or less have to buy a new ticket. Grr. I do it. 350$ later, I have a new ticket. It’s about one pm at this point. My flight is at 7:20 pm. She apologizes for the wait, she was nice, so I tell her it’s no big deal, and head off to get through security…

…already mentally composing the scathing letter I am gonna write to Delta Airlines. I shouldn’t have had to pay over 700$ total to fly from fucking DC to fucking Atlanta and back…oh, and in Atlanta, the busiest airport in the fucking world? It might be a good idea to have more than 2 fucking people working the fucking ticket/check in desk. And oh, maybe some of their employees need to learn something about fucking customer service. I text Amber and tell her the airport is trying to eat me.

You ever notice that shit, any kind of shit, is way more expensive in airports? So yeah, I pay way too much for a burger, fries, and a coke, oh, and a pack of smokes (one good thing about the Hotel California, it has many designated smoker fishbowls), I figure I have…oh…5 or so hours to kill, so I buy a couple books, and sort of trade off between reading and wandering around…and also decide that to keep myself amused and not homicidal, I shall document my stay in the airport in photo form. I decide a drink would also help with this, so I go up to one of the bars (one you can smoke in), grab a table, get a peach margarita (hell, ‘tis Georgia and all) and chill for a bit. Followed by more wondering and reading. I actually charged up my phone and laptop at a little tech-charging outpost they have. Heh.

Anyway, long about 6:30 I wander down to the distant gate of Terminal A (man, is it just me, or is “terminal” a creepy word to use for part of a damn airport?) where my flight is supposed to board. Chill, read, eventually get on the damn plane. Which is packed. And, then, once the masses of humanity, including the dude next to me who had a bit of a BO problem and the screaming kid in front of me are all stuffed in like sardines….

...they delay the flight.

Fuckity fucking fuck. At this point I am too fried to do anything but laugh. Anyway, we eventually get off the ground.

I made it outta Regan National in DC at about 10:45. There was only one minor causality…my nails.

But, despite the unexpected expenditure and crappy time in the airport, I had a grand old time and the event was educational, interesting, and fun. Very much so.

I have linked some of the other folks who were there, so yeah, do go poking about and reading and whatnot. I’m sure someone will put together a really comprehensive list of links and better reviews of the sessions and more photos (not always my strong suit). Good places to start might be Amber’s, Viviane’s, Audacia’s, Sex in the public square & Twanna’s. Follow the linkage, it shall lead you to wisdom!

And ah yes…a few folk asked where I got my “I love Porn!” shirt, along with Amber’s “Don’t let the tits fool you…” well see, I like t-shirts. Especially kind of snarky, sassy, sexy, silly, behold the hardline ones…so do feel free to go on over here and spend money. I’m even thinkin’ that proceeds from said items shall go to various outreach organizations…so yeah; you can help some people by annoying or causing others to look at you strangely. It’s a win/win situation, and I get to use my creative powers for both mayhem and good!

Also, massive thanks to Amber & Crew for doing this event. Your hard work was really worth it…what do y’all think about…oh, say, DC next year?