Allies

I’ll say it truthful and flat out, I have mixed feelings on allies. Part of this is on me, as I’m not notoriously good at trusting people or not speculating on their true motivations and intent. Part if it, however, is most certainly not on me, as some allies really seem to be anything but.

When I see people saying they are or want to be allies to sex workers / prostituted women, like Agent Mulder, I want to believe. I do. Hell, people in the sex biz, willingly or not, need allies. And sure enough, there are some damn good allies out there. A lot of the folk I consider to be the real deal are sex workers, or former sex workers themselves; folks like Jill B, so on, but this is not always the case. There are plenty of people who are not or have never been sex workers who I also consider to be allies- Elizabeth Wood and Amber come to mind. But then I look around and I see a lot of so-called allies who, well frankly, not really the kind of help sex workers and/or prostituted women need.

Some of ‘em are big names; Farley and Jensen come to mind. These people are not fucking allies. They are goddamn academics pushing their personal feelings and books and careers up on the backs of the people in the sex industry while ignoring those who do not agree with or challenge them. This is not the behavior of an ally. Point blank, end of story.

Some of them aren’t big names. There are writers, bloggers, so on, out there who like to say or think they are allies, but they aren’t. Being an ally has some guidelines, after all. I mean, let us look at this logically and such:

-If you support anything that might endanger the health of a sex worker, you are not an ally.
-If you support anything which might affect the legal standing, legal rights, and legal recourses of a sex worker, you are not an ally.
-If you actively seek to silence the words of sex workers, you are not an ally.
-If you advocate anything that impedes progress for sex workers rights, you are not an ally.
-If you support anything that keeps sex workers engaging in business in unsafe, criminalized, unregulated conditions, you are not an ally.
-If you infringe upon or disrupt a sex worker’s ability to earn a living, you are not an ally.
-If you patronize, mock, insult, judge, presume to speak for, speak over, lie about, threaten, slander, hack, make assumptions about, or belittle sex workers, you are not an ally.
-If you refuse to alter your terminology to suit terms sex workers prefer, you are not an ally.
-If you refuse to recognize sex work extends beyond street prostitution, you are not an ally.
-If you refuse to recognize the humanity of sex workers, you are not an ally.
-If you refuse to recognize many sex works are adults with a level of autonomy, you are not an ally.
-If you refuse to recognize that many people in sex work would choose other options if they were available, you are not an ally.
-If you actually do nothing to help sex workers in the here and now, you are not an ally.
-If you take on a savior, superior attitude towards sex workers, you are not an ally.
-If you use sex workers words, images, ideas, writings, or experiences without their consent or knowledge, you are not an ally.
-If you use sex workers to further your wider agenda or goal without their consent, you are not an ally.

Got it? Hey, you might pass the “you’re not a feminist if” tests, but if you fail here, you are no fucking ally to sex workers.

Supporting legislation that keeps sex work illegal and keeps sex workers from having legal rights and recourse? Supporting programs such as the No Prostitution Pledge which denies sex workers access to funding, medical care, condoms, education, and other options? Protesting at/ disrupting sex worker events, porn stores, strip clubs, adult industry gatherings? Harassing sex workers and dehumanizing them? Not the actions of allies.

So yes, a lot of the allies out there need to think about it. An occasional post when a hooker gets killed, a porn star commits suicide, or a stripper gets raped? That does not make you an ally. It makes you a fucking opportunist maximizing your creds on the bodies and bullshit faced by those in sex work every day…shit that social stigma and criminal status allow. Shit that some of these so-called allies support. Guess what?

With allies like that?

So if you’re not an ally…don’t pretend that you are. Call yourself whatever the hell you want- but ally? Not a word you're entitled to.