Florida

Is one odd state y'all. Enjoying my vacation though!

In homage, and other things...

This is my favorite picture of my cat, Set, who is no longer. I got her in college…I remember I picked her because of all the kittens in the litter, well, the rest of them were all like “Pick me, pick me!” and she was sort of hanging out in the back looking at me like “fuck you, human.”

She, even though she was a she, got the name Set because I really like Egyptian mythology and Set, well, a favorite- and the name really seemed to suit her. She moved from NC, to FL, to VA with me, loved eating Tuna and Pringles (one of those makes sense, the other I found odd) and had a purr you could hear from a room away. The feline had a damn attitude, and always thought she was way more of a badass than she really was, but damn if she could not back down cats far larger than she…though in her prime she was pretty buff, for a cat.

She used to wait until you turned off the lights, hide under a bed or a couch and then wait for you to walk by so she could attack your feet. We called her the foot assassin on many occasions. And she bathed, a lot…and would go to work on the nearest human with hair on their head afterwards. She would steal dirty socks out of the laundry and drag them all over the house. She hated having to be in a car, for anything.

I’m gonna miss the ballsy chick. She was awesome in that cat way…all attitude and deviousness…unless she was asleep on your lap (or head). More of her awesomeness can be seen here.

Other stuff? Well, yeah, my dance with the Medical Profession continues. Took my drugs, went to the doc…she was an hour and a half late (ah, metro area morning traffic), so by then, pain meds? Totally wearing off. She did two of the shots (out of like, oh, 27), then noted I had a small rash on my neck, and stopped, because the shots could make it worse…so yeah, postponed until I see a dermatologist and they figure out what is up with that (guess what, 10-1…its dry skin, big whoop)…so yeah, I will be trying to find a dermatologist on my insurance while on vacation in FL. Then I have to reschedule a needle appointment, and thus, this bullshit just continues to drag on and on….almost a year I’ve been dealing with this shit and I am so over it I could scream

So yes, my last 24 or so hours have completely sucked!

Heavy sigh

My 15 year old cat is no longer.
Later this morning I get my neck jabbed full of needles...again.
Wednesday, I go to Florida.

At least all those things don't suck.

Oh man...

Okay, no secret, I do no always agree with ND on much of anything, but I read her blog...so anyway, pop on over there and I see this.

And I click the video. And I watch it. In abject horror and...well... giggling. Now see, I am all for people defending their right to be kinky...but damn...one of those cases of please..stop helping!

Now I am sure LD's heart is in the right place and all...but some sage advice-

Using big words every five seconds does not actually make people think you are stunningly intelligent.

If you are gonna go for a fisk, make sure you've actually read and processed what your adversary is saying...links and direct quotes are good...accusing people of lying and saying shit they've not actually said? Not so good.

Don't have your pet up in other posts talking about how much smarter he is than all the other idiots of the world when he is obviously reading word for word off a script.

Consider easing up on the Asian Appropriation.

And, you might wanna consider less-shiny lipstick...I mean, for real, it is so shiny it actually DRAWS attention AWAY from what you are saying (which who knows, might actually be a good thing).

I felt compelled to do this as a fan of fisk, D&D and Korn myself....but I have standards and all, and one of them includes making sure you get it right and accurate. That shit just made me cringe. Oh yeah, and since I am all for equality and all, when I see cringe from kinksters, I will point it out.

(I was gonna do a seriously snarky vid blog, but it is almost 3 in the morning....)

The Lemonade Award of Fatal Fucking Awesomeness!

Here's the deal: I have to list three things for which I'm grateful, and pass the award on to bloggers who inspire me.

I was tagged by Caroline, so here we go...

1) My best bud Vladimir, because he fucking rocks.
2) The dual overhead cam...if you have to ask, you will not understand its awesomeness.
3) Comic books, because without them, I never would have gotten into art I suspect.

Tag to-
Rootietoot
Gin
Antiprincess

Beauty

I went into DC with my buddy Vladimir today just because....you know, I needed a break. And while there, my eyes were granted a glimpse of true, amazing, stunning beauty....

My crappy camera phone does not do her justice...but my god, I do not think I have seen too many things ever on this earth that are that lovely.

I didn't think it was possible for humanity to disgust me any further...

I was wrong.

What the hell is wrong with people? Jesus Christ! We can spend billions of dollars "hunting terrorists" all over the fucking globe, but asshats like these worthless meatsacks can't be stopped?

HELLO???WTF!

h/t shemale

I just want to say...

This Woman?

She is full of awesome and anyone who does not agree with me is wrong.

That is all.

Well now...

This is interesting.

And yep, I know it is not about me specifically or whatever, much more of an in general thing, yet still, got me thinking...

In a small, small way I agree with one thing...people being utterly anonymous allows them to go on with zero accountability and say and do anything they want. However, I do not so much think that people who blog under a solid, established screen name rather than their real name are often any less subject to threats and harassment...nor, often, are their identies any more secure or are they in any less potential danger that those who use their real names.

Now granted, enemy, ally, whatever, I think it does take a lot of iron in the spine to blog under ones real, legal name. I don't do it. I have my reasons, they are good ones. However, as far as that goes with activism and whatnot...well...I don't "activist" under my real name either. My activist handle is the same as my blog one. My public speaking? Yep, same thing. I've been asked if (and have pondered having) Renegade Evolution is my legal name. And why yes, even with the buffer of a screen name...I've been threatened and subject to all kinds of nastiness.

I might also add, that while I do blog under a screen name...it's a pretty established one and not attached to some here today gone tomorrow blog...and yep, oddly enough, while I won't use my real name- my general location, and yep, even what I look like (both 'at my best' and 'at my worst') are easily enough found here. My name may not be out in the public, but my face, my identifying tattoos/scars, all that...right there. And I have noted this is the same for a lot of women in my position...and in the sex biz...we write, people might know what we look like, but our names? Well, those are ours, and not out there for public consumption...and I do not think we are any more protected than women who do blog under their real names. We all open ourselves up to bullshit all the same.

And yeah, I say some horrible shit sometimes, use violent language, but I own it...I don't do it anonymously, I do it under my screen name. My activist identity. How the world at large knows me...hell, I am willing to bet more people out there know me as Ren than as my real name.

Shrug. I cannot or will not knock on anyone who chooses to use a screen name online rather than their real name. I hate anonymous, but an established net handle? I don't see that as cowardly...in fact, I see it as smart. And I do not think it takes one tiny iota away from their activsim, their truth, the worth of their voice.

After all, women (people in general), have good reasons, from fear to protecting their jobs, to use screen names. And choosing not to do so? Well, it does not give someone a pedestal.

Humans....

Okay, the head/desk-ing begins here...

Now, credit where it is due...I think Charlie is trying? But man, way to put a bullet in ones foot while doing so...

"Bukkake in porn does often seem to me to be performed for the purpose of humiliation and degradation. The language that the men use, the way that they look at the (usually) woman, etc. frequently looks to me as if the goal isn’t to make anyone feel pleasure (including the guys participating)."

Incorrect...or, at least I would like to see some proof? I mean, I have seen a lot of porn in my day, including the kind with bukkake in it, and the folk in it at least seem to be pretending to enjoy themselves....

"And yes, some people find consensual humiliation to be arousing. When it’s done within the context of consent and leaves no lasting negative effects, I don’t see a problem with it, although I often recommend that anyone who does it spend some time thinking about what they want to get out of it and assessing whether they actually got what they wanted. It’s all too easy to cause emotional harm when engaging in it."

-2 points for the backhanded defense of people with a humiliation kink. "Well, you can get off on that, but you better examine!" You might get hurt after all!

" So yes, to the degree that a lot of bukkake porn looks to me as if the intention is to (non-consensually) humiliate someone, "

Um, what? It does? The intent is to non-consesually humiliate someone? You sure? About that non-consent thing? Proof that this is a common theme in a lot of bukkake porn? I mean, personally, bukkake ain't my thing. Doesn't get my engine running so to speak, but the non-con thing? Throw that out there just to score points or based on some factual evidence? Inquiring minds want to know!

Then ND:

"The point is the vast majority of cases, and in the vast majority of cases, facial ejaculation and shit like bukkake are misogynistic."

Oh ffs, a facial is not misogynistic in and of itself. Can it be? Yep. IS IT by default, hell no. Is it even the majority of times? Hell no.

and last but certainly not least, Laurelin:

"Because, as always, women telling you that they experience bukkake as misogynist and the language of porn in describing such a practice, is not theoretical enough for you? we need to produce a study, yes? Women’s words are never enough."

HA! HAhahahahahahaa (super villain laugh even). WHY yes, of course, the words of SOME women are enough. Even if those women are statistical outliers, as mAndrea would say...cause you know radical feminists are so mainstream and not statistical outliers themselves! So SURE, Laurelin, your words matter...even more than those of women who disagree with you, right? I mean, those women? Their words don't mean shit! Fucking priceless! You and those like you speak for ALL women, right?

WRONG.

Which is why, yeah, maybe a study would be a good thing...because you know, those twisted broken pervy women are not as rare as you would like to think!

Examine that, meatsacks.

In the Mail...

My inbox cracks me up. Here are some choice E-Mail lines from Ren’s Inbox-

“Better to face a hail of words than bullets”
“Think before negotiating: If you fire at them with everything you have, could you remove the need to negotiate?”
“What do you mean you forgot the C4?”
“You own jeans and a sharp knife right?”
“its an early drinking while the sun is up plan, but sometimes you need to roll that way”
“how can you pass on a bar that has Ministry on the jukebox?”
“I didn’t know tattoos were a war crime”
“Do you have any spare .44 ammo? I’m out.”

Oddly enough, no porn adds!

Creepy Chicks

Strangeness,I swear…

Okay, so this is one of those odd personal posts. So yeah, smoke if you got ‘em. (I happen to be out, so that only adds to the strangeness).

Of all the things in my life I have had to struggle with, the one thing I am currently struggling with is one I never expected I would be struggling with- if that makes any sense at all…

And that is the fact that I apparently intimidate the hell out of a lot of people.

Now see, this is weird for me. I mean, come on, I am 5’2” and 103 pounds, how the fuck can I be that damn scary? I mean, sure, to some people I can come off as unhinged, but anyone who actually knows me knows that I am very, very predictable, even when seeming unhinged (Hell, I plan my chaos and clean up after it). And sure, blast goggles and body armor rank as high fashion for me and I do have a fair amount of ink, a bony face, and spend some time in the gym…but I am…

Wee, and very, very…well, I plan.

First thing people who have read me say when they meet me? “I expected you to be taller.”

Now, of course, I well know that part of the reason that I am apparently intimidating is because I am a small female and thus, in order to ever be taken seriously for anything, I have had to come up with some way to make people take me seriously, and I guess in my life the manifestation of that was to make people think I might hit them in the head with an axe should they dismiss me out of hand (and, true enough, there have been people and times where and when that seemed like a really, really good idea), and yes, I realize colorful and violent language is apparently my native tongue….but the whole thing, this whole intimidating thing, while in some ways it has really worked for me, in other ways, it makes things very odd.

For instance, on Saturday evening I went to a swing party. I do this from time to time. I hooked up with no one because I was not in the mood. However, I did want to see swinger friends that I had not seen since January, so I went. And in the course of the evening, my mood turned from fine to foul…sober and everything…and at one point in the night I came down the stairs to catch the end of a conversation…let me recreate for you!

Swinger Woman X: “Oh, talk to Ren, she can tell you about ______”
Swinger Woman Y: “Which one is Ren?”
Swinger Woman X: “Oh, you can’t miss her, short, tattoos, black hair. She sort of looks like a war criminal”.

….

I do?

Well, I guess (to her anyway) I do. Must be the stars and scars. However, not the IDEAL way to be described now, is it? Sure, sure, I will admit part of me was like “okay, that is fucking cool, better than the short chick with fake boobs, or the stripper looking chick, or blah blah blah…” I mean, at least “she sort of looks like a war criminal” is distinctive and memorable….but would you actually go TALK to someone who was described that way???

(Considers readers, re-phrases)…

Would MOST people?

I guess I am just reaching a point where I have heard so many folk say “You scare me” or “I was so intimidated” that I am wondering….

No promise of changing anything, but something I am pondering.